Nancy Pelucifer Can Not Not Lie

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelucifer simply can not tell the truth. It is no longer possible.

"Hey Nancy, how many legs does a dog have?"

Pelucifer: "Two."

Next day..."Hey Nancy, how many legs does a dog have?"

Pelucifer: "One."

Day after that..."Hey Nancy, how many legs does a dog have?"

Pelucifer: "Three."

Fourth day..."Hey Nancy, how many legs does a dog have?"

Pelucifer: "We have been lied to; they told us cats were dogs."

Yes, Nancy, the CIA lied to Congress. And it was Bush. Yes Buuuuuuuuuuuush lied, too. Bush always lies to everybody, doesn't he? Him and that monster Dick Cheney, right, Nance? They lie all the time; in fact they are out there right now lying to the people around them. Waiters, waitress', store clerks, people on the street, their neighbors...they lie all the time, don't they, Nancy?

Yes, Nancy, there is a Bush lying behind every bush, isn't there.

What's that you say? Oh, yes, over there, I see it; I see that Bush behind that bush, and, yup, sure enough, he's lying. Just like they always do, huh, Nancy?

And there's so many bushes for them to hide behind, aren't there? And if every one of the bushes has a Bush lying behind it, we had better start another Truth Squad to find them all out and expose them for being the liars that they are because they lie all the time, right?

Yes, Nancy, we will all get right on that. Why don't you sit down here and take a drink of water, first. Here, take some of this medicine. And in a few minutes, a nice doctor is going to come and he will be asking you about the toys in your attic.

Yes, we'll get the bad CIA and the bad Bush, those mean liars. Just go ahead and lie back down, now, and get some rest. The nice doctor will be here soon...