Koran Toilet Paper

Muslim Facebook Boycott Protests 'koran toilet paper' was uttered and published 10/19/'09 in response to a threatened Muslim boycott of Facebook. The Muslims were demanding the deletion of a Facebook group "Koran Toilet Paper Roll".   Posted at Freedom Ain't Free, it has received  532 page views, 9 of them on September 8.  

    I do not know how many page views it has received  on my VOX blog, but recently it has been the most popular post.   That post comes up #9 in the Google SERP.   That post drew 17 of 70 page views to 10 p.m. today.

    Just in case readers are looking for the literal product, I did a search for novelty tp.

• Just Toilet Paper does not offer Koran tp. They do offer  custom printing.

That search was a bust.  A German man tried to market Qur'an tp four years ago and got arrested, which may have put a damper on the market.

    KTPR was taken down by Facebook, briefly restored, and disappeared.  It has been replaced by two smaller groups  which are less active as well as less popular.

• We who use The Qur'an as toiletpaper
• I bet this 'Toilet Paper' can Get more fans than 'Quran'.

    The group demanding KTPR's deletion is still going, but not extremely active.

• Facebook must delete the group "koran toilet paper roll"

    It is fun to joke about using the Qur'an for peri-anal  hygiene but, the practice can have consequences.  Some inks can be irritating and  coated paper can cause paper cuts, which can become infected, resulting in painful boils.  I suggest using the  less expensive paper back editions that ain't printed on  thin coated paper.

    With the preliminaries out of the way, its time to get down to the serious stuff.   The issue is not covered in the Qur'an, so we turn to the hadith.  The fun starts in Sahih Bukhari 1.4.157  with a narration in which the Profit asks his companion to bring him three stones,  but not bone or dung.
   

    Sunan Abu Dawud 1.7   makes the prohibition explicit.

Book 1, Number 0007:
Narrated Salman al-Farsi:

It was said to Salman: Your Prophet teaches you everything, even about excrement. He replied: Yes. He has forbidden us to face the qiblah at the time of easing or urinating, and cleansing with right hand, and cleansing with less than three stones, or cleansing with dung or bone.

Why should Muslims be prohibited from wiping their butts with dried camel dung or old bones?  Why would anyone consider using a piece of crap for that purpose?  But that's beside the point.  Moe has an answer for you.

Sunan Abu Dawud Book 1, Number 0039:
Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud:

A deputation of the jinn came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and said: O Muhammad, forbid your community to cleans themselves with a bone or dung or charcoal, for in them Allah has provided sustenance for us. So the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) forbade them to do so.    

    You thought jinn were mythical, didn't you?  But Moe met with a delegation of jinn who told him that Allah provided bones and dried dung for them to eat. If they eat dried dung, whats the problem?   They could just wait for the crap on the soiled items to dry.

    The Prophet said to use three clean stones.

Sunan Abu Dawud Book 1, Number 0041:
Narrated Khuzaymah ibn Thabit:

The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) was asked about cleansing (after relieving oneself). He said: (One should cleanse oneself) with three stones which should be free from dung.

    But there's more; stones ain't enough, you  should use water, too.

Sunan Abu Dawud Book 1, Number 0044:
Narrated AbuHurayrah:

The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: The following verse was revealed in connection with the people of Quba': "In it are men who love to be purified" (ix.108). He (AbuHurayrah) said: They used to cleanse themselves with water after easing. So the verse was revealed in connection with them.

    Ain't those great suggestions?  But they are more than suggestions, they are law.  Book e of Reliance of the Traveller  contains the rules of ritual purity.   This is not suitable for children or overly sensitive adults.

 e9.0: Going to Lavatory  [Emphasis added to interesting parts.]

e9.1: Recommended Measures

It is recommended when one intends to use the lavatory:

-1- to put something on one's feet, unless there is an excuse (O:such as not having shoes);

-2- to cover the head (O:even if only with a handkerchief or other);

-3- to set aside anything on which there is the mention of Allah Most High. His messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace), or any revered name (O:like those of prophets or angels).  If one enters with a ring (O:on which something worthy of respect is written), one closes one's hand around it;

-4- to ready stones (N: or other suitable material (def:e9.5) ) (O:if one uses them) to clean oneself of filth (N:though water alone is sufficient);

-5- to say before entering:

"In the name of Allah. O Allah, I take refuge in You from demons, male and female,"

and after leaving,

"[O Lord,] Your forgiveness: Praise be to Allah who rid me of the hurt and gave me health";

-6- to enter with the left foot first and depart with the right foot first (and this, together with (3) and

-5- above, are not only for indoors, but recommended outdoors as well);

-7- not to raise one's garment until one squats down to the ground (O: to keep one's nakedness covered as much as possible) and to lower it before one stand up;

-8- to put most of one's weight on the left foot while squatting;

-9- not to spend a long time;

-10- not to speak; 

-11- when finished urinating, for men to squeeze the penis with the left hand from base to head (O: recommended because this is where the urethra is, and for women to squeeze their front between thumb and forefinger) (N: so urine does not exit later and nullify one's ablution) pulling lightly three times (O: this being recommended when one thinks the urine has stopped, though if one thinks it has not, this is obligatory);

-12- not to urinate while standing (O: which is offensive) unless there is an excuse (N: such as when standing is less likely to spatter urine on one's clothes than sitting, or when sitting is a hardship);

-13- not to clean oneself with water in the same place one relieved oneself, if it might spatter, though if in a lavatory one need not move to a different place;

-14- to distance oneself from others if outdoors and to screen oneself;

-15- not to urinate into holes, on hard places, where there is wind, in waterways, where people gather to talk, on paths, under fruit trees, near graves, in still water, or in less than 216 liters of running water;

-16- and not to relieve oneself with one's front or rear facing the sun, moon, or the Sacred Precinct in Jerusalem.

e9.2: Prohibitions

It is unlawful to urinate on anything edible, bones, anything deserving respect, a grave or in a mosque, even if into a receptacle.

e9.3

It is unlawful to urinate or defecate with one's front or rear towards the direction of prayer when outdoors and there is no barrier to screen one, though this is permissible when one is indoors within a meter and a half of a barrier at least 32 cm. high, or in a hole that deep. When one is not this close to such a barrier at least 32 cm. high, or in a hole that deep. When one is not this close to such a barrier, it is not permissible except in a lavatory, where, if the walls are farther from one than the maximal distance or are shorter than the minimal height, relieving oneself with front or rear towards the direction of prayer is permissible, though offensive.  

e9.4: The Obligation of Cleaning Oneself of Filth

It is obligatory to clean oneself of every impure substance coming from one's front or rear, though not from gas, dry worms or stones, or excrement without moisture.

e9.5: Use of dry substances or water

Stones suffice to clean oneself, though it is best to follow this by washing with water. Anything can take the place of stones that is a solid, pure, removes the filth, is not something that deserves respect or is worthy of veneration, nor something that is edible (O: these being five conditions for the validity of using stones (N: or something else) to clean oneself of filth without having to follow it by washing with water).

But it is obligatory to wash oneself with water if:

-1- one has washed away the filth with a liquid other than water, or with something impure;

-2- one has become soiled with filth from a separate source;

-3- one's waste has moved from where it exited (n: reaching another part of one's person) or has dried;

-4- or if feces spread beyond the inner buttocks (N: meaning that which is enfolded when standing), or urine moved beyond the head of the penis, though if they do not pass beyond them, stones suffice.

e9.5: How to clean oneself

It is obligatory (N: when cleaning oneself with a dry substance alone) to both remove the filth, and to wipe three times, even when once is enough to clean it, doing this either with three pieces (lit. "stones") or three sides of one piece. If three times does not remove it, it is obligatory to (N: repeat it enough to) clean it away (O: as that is the point of cleaning oneself. Nawawi says in al-Majmu' that cleaning oneself (N: with a dry substance) means to remove the filth so that nothing remains but a trace that could not be removed unless one were to use water) (N: and when this has been done, any remaining effects of filth that could have been done, any remaining effects of filth that could have only been removed with water are excusable).  An odd number of strokes is recommended. One should wipe from front to back on the right side with the first piece, similarly wipe the left with the second, and wipe both sides and the anus with the third. Each stroke must begin at a point on the skin that is free of impurity.

It is offensive to use the right hand to the oneself of filth.

e9.6: Cleaning before or after ablution

It is best to clean oneself of filth before ablution, though if one waits until after it to clean, the ablution is nevertheless valid(N: provided that while cleaning, the inside surface of the hand (def: e7.4 does not touch the front or rear private parts).

If one waits until after one's dry ablution (tayammum, def:e12) to clean away filth, the dry ablution is not valid (A: because lack of filth is a condition for it).

    E9.1-3 instructs Muslims not to carry the Qur'an into the lavatory. E9.5 is explicit: you must not use any object that deserves respect or veneration.  Since they do not consider translations to be sacred,  for maximum  offense (if that is the intention) you should desecrate an Arabic Qur'an.  The problem with toilet paper is that it could  be made from recycled Qur'ans.

    The right hand prohibition has a cultural connection. Seventh century Arabs did not use eating utensils, they  grabbed food out of common pots with their right hands. Amputating the right hand of a thief forces him to use his left hand for everything, which could introduces feces into the common pot.   Perhaps that is why Risala (Maliki Fiqh) gives this instruction.

4.1e The place is rubbed with the hand while the water is being poured until it is cleaned of noxiousness. It is enough that he thinks it probable if he is able to do that. If he is not able to do it because his hand is cut off or short, he delegates someone who is able to touch that place, be it wife or slavegirl.